Today I'd like to say that nothing eventful happened. However, this is not true.

For all intents and purposes Delta Kappa Chi is officially disbanding, oddly I feel pretty neutral about it. It has been coming for a long time. Though I didn't really expect that I would be there for its finally.

Also my grades are coming in and it looks like a C semester. =( I can't believe how disapointed in myself I am. Fuck.

More on this later.

I don't feel like typing this all of a sudden.

I'm back in Nac and after seeing Lions for Lambs yesterday I am PUMPED to prove that I do, in fact, not suck at life. I a little hesitant, there is alot on the line; I'm not sure if I can even do it. The point being that I need to stop gazing at all the distractions and just learn to focus on what is important, my grades. I screwing up in all my classes except Taaffs, which is a fantastic class (btw), and the pressure to not go and completely fuck it all up is about to pop my little head. I know what I have to do yet there lies two problems, I'm not sure if I am smart enough and second, I don't know if I have the energy to keep pace with life. Agh!

More importantly SFA has a few really great girls and y'know what it's a real shame that most of my particular favorites are graduating this year. /sigh

Though a bit of random yet intersting news, me and Justin beat Super Mario Galaxy in two days and stephen kings " the Mist" was extremly well done. (Like damn) And much to my suprise the Rock Competition routes are still up! They will be juicy fun!


Last note, I'm tired and I am not looking forward to seeing going home cause my Window is STILL brocken and it is already stupidly cold in there. I need to message Odie and give him a big "fuck thanks jack-ass" cause he is the deutch responsible for for the window. *_*

Anyways, last night I had the weirdest yet best dream ever. Fucking great! But it's also really personal so that is all you peeps get to hear!
( it involved very pasionate alien sex, no joke.)

So the party ended up going extremely well, and I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time, (well except Andrea which doesn't count because it is impossible for her to have a good time) and I am now eagerly awaiting the "Bad Porno Party." More on that later.

Just so you know, at the party, Odie really outdid himself. The man had water and turned it into GOLD. Sabrehah came over early and brought over the Margarita Machine that she had rented for the weekend. Odie made, as usual, extremely good yet deadly trashcan punch. In fact I still have to jugs of it saved in my refrigerator as I type this, it should keep for the Porno Party. Anyway Alec was generous enough bring booze for Beer Pong, needless to say everyone got shit-tay! In fact Odie, again as usual, after an ample supply of booze went nuts and somehow broke another window; only this time it was in my room.

I swear, something breaks in my house every time I throw a party. In all honesty this is starting to worry me. My annual birthday party, Yeager Night, has a tradition of destroying the place at which it is held. In fact the denizens of the first two places it was held have asked that it take place at my house. I'm cool with that, it's just that with Yeager Nights destructive tradition mixed coupled with the momentum my parties - I'm almost positive that my place is going to burn down in a blaze of glory in which I will only have the pleasure of seeing but only for a moment. That is only for a moment mainly because it won't take long for She-Wolf (Andrea)to claw my eyes out of the sockets they call home.

Crap, going now. Devil Wears Prada is on.

I am preparing for a dance party at my place. It should be a jovial time.

(Christ, did I just use the word "jovial"? It's a god awful word forever tainted by a stupid 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Degerstrom, despicable and horribly religious woman who used the work jovial every time she mention the author Bob Stein," No class I'm not a big fan of Jovial Bob Stein." "Ok class what other authors besides Jovial Bob Stein do you like?" " Haha ok I guess we can read one story by Jovial Bob Stein"

Fuck that idiot droned on and on with that word to make it obvious to us that she knew what she was talking about, which made it obvious that she didn't know a damn thing. Yet she just kept it going and going, perhaps she is one of the few people that helped foster my hatred of woman and religion so much.)

Hope to see y'all there!

Sean

Tags: party
Current Mood: chipper

It has been noted by historians that Abraham Lincoln was an extremly funny guy. He could walk into a room, say the appropriate joke and get things started. It was a gift that few presidents will ever have.

It has also been noted that Lincoln suffered from terrible bouts of depression. As on comedian put it," Sometimes the funniest people are the most hollow and lonely on the inside and it just eats away at them."

I'm not Lincoln but I am funny and I do feel like I'm being eaten away from the inside, it's just so lonely sometimes I can't stand it.

It is a times like this that I hate who I am.

Everyone thinks it was so brave of me to go visit China and thats cool.
It's just that I didn't know that being 'brave' meant being so scarred all the time.

When I flew into Hong Kong I knew exactly three things:

1) That a man to whom I have never had a conversation nor talked to except through E-mail was going to be waiting for me at the gate.

2) I had been literally on the move, due to layover etc. for 24 hours and I was tired.

3) I had never been more scarred.

The next three days would remind me of the movie Kate&Leopold. Renato was used to everything and I was busy staring off at looked and felt like a different time and place on earth (hell even the air felt different). Eventually I would become just as used to it all as Renato was, though I didn't know that yet.

What most people don't know about my "amazing soujourn" is this

1) That I was very ill for the first month I was there and never fully got over being sick until I got back to the U.S.A.

2)Most of the time I was working my ass off pulling a 70 hour work week teaching Chinese people English and was constantly exhausted.

3) That no matter how bad things got and no matter how sick I became I NEVER once thought, "I want to go home."

As always,

Sean

Quick update,

When I first took on the life of an Atheist I never intended to become someone who despises religions or people who follow them. After all, it is just a way people choose to live their lives and there are many benefits at following a religion; comfort, direction, sense of having a friend when you need one, etc. However, as I see more and more of the world and how people run their lives in it I have noticed that my attitude has gone from passive to annoyment to tipping on anger.

People rely too much on something they cannot and will not ever see, claiming it is their faith that makes it ok to wallow away in filth and with a smile. Just the other day this girl refused to go out with a guy on the grounds that GOD had told her not to. Obviously, it really wasn't God but her trying to find a reason to be able to turn down a fat guy without feeling bad. It was disgusting on her part.

Legitimately it is starting to worry me; I hope that I do not fall into being one of those lonely and bitter old people that hates the world. Yet I feel these vines of animosity starting to crepe up my soul and I don't know how to brush them off.

Point being, religiously conservative people are starting to disgust me and I am afraid that one day it is going to affect who I am as a person.

Stupid Religion.

Tags: religion, vines
Current Location: Steen Library
Current Music: Pimsleur Spanish

Dear Tyrrell

So it's about 10 hours before my flight leaves to the other side of the planet and quite frankly I have no idea what is in store for me. Part of me is excited and eager to grab a shovel to dig through and find that hidden jewel of bubble gum in the center of a juicy pop. The other part is worried that this is going to be a disaster. Depending on who I talk to I get one of two reactions, some say China is a paradise undiscovered and the others essentially just give one simple phrase, be afraid be very afraid.

What I do know is that I packed rather well and I have my spiffy digital camera with me to capture all that is China. I also have a super casual yet awesome satchel I'm carrying with me and this satchel isn't just some small pointless bag but make no mistake, when I put in on I feel sooo bad ass it's like I'm a level six samurai lawn gnome with a plus two bonus to looking totally sweet. In fact I feel I should name it but I have yet to come up with a good name for it. It's a light shade of green with a gray cloth strap and always feels soft and warm to the touch. It's like my own, personal, magical bag of tricks. I'm taking it on the flight and in it I have stuffed the essentials; toothbrush, book, underoos and a whole lot of s'more pop tarts.

So, I guess I'll just have to ignore those people, grab a swim cap and dive straight in without looking back. My friend Renato and I are staying in Hong Kong for a week and he told me that I need to get as much rest as possible because according to him, it is a disservice to the city if you sleep at all. It sounds exciting although I still have a slight fear that I am going to somehow wake up in a bathtub with a kidney missing.

But now I guess I should get some rest before my 24 hours of flight time I have to endure. By the way how have you been and how did the move in go? I hope all is well in a Nac, it is beutiful in the summer.


All the best


Sean Lackey

(As you can tell this is what I felt like in the hours before I left to China.)

At this point I pretty passive but at the same time I had never been more scared.
Just so y'all know, at this point I have a HUGE crush on Tyrrell (I'll explain more on her later) and had fully planned to date here as soon as I got back.

Tags: china, plane, tyrrell

So I have been home for a little over a week now and I now remember why it is that I am going to a school and now a vacation so far away from home. My parents are wonderful people but I hope to god I never end up like them. There most prized possession is a huge HD Television. Sure it's rather cool but damn have they just given up on life? They go to work and then in the evenings sit in front of it and watch it all day.

There has got to be something more to life then that.

Otherwise my ass is doomed. Perhaps I feel this way because I am just looking for my jewel center and should look in the local and well defined.

For now though I am stuck in the "now loading" screen of life in perhaps meaningless search for candy center of a tootsie pop.

-sean

I am afraid,
again a dagger.
Must I hide my heart?
It may not end
my view is clouded
thank the lord.

Should this blow be taken?
Might this child run instead?
What is needed is covered in barbs
to touch is to tear
the toughest skin.

The prick pangs,
still my dagger draws near
praying on that edge.
my view is kept clouded
yet the grasp is unbearable.

I am afraid.